SWG Chapter 39
by VolareThump, thump, thump.
It was the sound of a heart beating violently.
Xiao Wenyu watched the sun gradually sink in the west, scattering its last orange-red glow across the horizon. That touch of orange-red scorched her eyes, bit by bit, burning her so that she couldn’t help but grip the seat belt tightly, slowly exhaling a breath.
Anyway, the biggest secret had already been revealed, what else could Ruan Shengyi ask? It would only be about the past, about this child, or about Lin Simu.
Her good boss was so considerate, concerned about her health in the hospital, only keeping a straight face for two days, forcefully suppressing all the curiosity in her stomach until now. Only after confirming that everything was alright did she nervously ask.
Xiao Wenyu thought for a moment and said, “Let me tell you myself.”
Ruan Shengyi looked at her in slight surprise.
Tell her what? Did this person have some kind of mind-reading ability, knowing what she wanted to ask?
But the woman smiled slightly at her, her eyebrows knitted together, creating a cloud of sorrow that couldn’t be dispelled. Her clear autumn eyes were filled with a layer of longing.
So, she couldn’t refuse. Leaning back, she said in a level voice, “You go first.”
Xiao Wenyu turned her head, her gaze vaguely scattered on the door handle, and softly said, “In the beginning, it was around the end of July. Lin Simu came back from out of town. I thought about it for a long time and told her I wanted a divorce. But she told me that she had seen a very cute child on this trip, and asked if having a child of our own would prevent us from getting divorced. I refused.”
“That night, I drank some wine. The next day, she told me that the water she gave me the night before had medicine dissolved in it. I wanted to take birth control pills, but she restricted my freedom. She said that if I acted out a scene with her, she would agree to the divorce. At that time, I only wanted a divorce and didn’t think too deeply about it, and I didn’t expect that the so-called taking medicine wasn’t because she wanted a baby…”
Xiao Wenyu sniffed, her nose already turning red, and her voice becoming increasingly hoarse. Teardrops, about to fall, hung on her lower eyelashes.
She said in a raspy voice, “It was because she wanted to create a scenario for her pursuers, a drama where she had a wife at home who was very strict and clingy, so things would be more exciting when they played around.”
Ruan Shengyi couldn’t bear to watch any longer, nor could she endure it. She kept a straight face, because this wasn’t what she wanted to ask, nor was this the effect she wanted. She reached out and gently wiped away the pearly tears at the corner of her eye, her heart aching as she said, “Don’t say anymore.”
“No, I have to say it…” Xiao Wenyu pressed her hand down, onto the center console, and then looked directly at her with her limpid, watery eyes, saying, “I didn’t tell Lin Simu about the existence of this child. When she asked me, I said the medicine that time hadn’t worked. Because this child only belongs to me, just my baby.”
“At that time, I had no intention of establishing another intimate relationship. But I… probably because I’ve looked good since I was little, I felt that I could raise this child well, in my own home. After all, judging by the genes, this child is primarily mine. She’s my child and won’t have any connection with the Lin family.”
Xiao Wenyu gently bit her lower lip, saying, “I will raise her very well, definitely.”
“You will.” Ruan Shengyi tried to pull her hand away, but it was no use. She smiled helplessly, raised her other hand, reached across the center console, and gently stroked the side of her face, saying softly, “You definitely will.”
How could someone so warm and understanding of love not raise a lovely child?
Time stood still for a moment. The orange sunlight fell another inch, projecting in through the front window, only outlining half a face, complementing the redness at the corner of her eye.
A vibrant vitality appeared on her fair face.
After two days of rest, she truly had a bit of fresh air.
Therefore, she needed to rest more.
Ruan Shengyi quietly looked at her, remaining silent for a moment. When her tears gradually faded, she warmed her voice and said, “However, what I wanted to say isn’t this.”
She wasn’t worried that Xiao Wenyu would still have some unclear entanglement with that Lin Miss, nor was she concerned about the child’s position and existence in Xiao Wenyu’s heart. After all, just like she thought that night, this child was Xiao Wenyu’s important support, almost her everything. Naturally, she wouldn’t let anyone use this child as a threat.
What she was worried about was herself.
Ruan Shengyi fell silent after saying that.
Xiao Wenyu had proactively revealed some of her past, which was unnecessary. In the end, its only purpose was to reassure her, even though their relationship was only slightly more advanced than good friends at the moment.
This made her next question seem somewhat tactless, and somewhat disruptive to the tender atmosphere at this time.
Xiao Wenyu also realized this current anxiety. She gently released the hand holding her, wiping away her tears herself, and muttered, “Then you should have said so earlier. Now that you know my deepest secret, you have to keep it a secret for me.”
She hooked the corners of her lips and said with a smile, “Then tell me, I’m listening.”
She used the most clumsy way to ease Ruan Shengyi’s psychological burden, gently telling her, “Don’t be afraid, go ahead and tell me, I can answer anything.”
Ruan Shengyi clenched her fist and said, “Then, around August.”
Xiao Wenyu seemed to realize something, and her breathing suddenly grew heavier.
So, Ruan Shengyi slowly raised her eyelids and looked directly at her, looking at those peach blossom eyes filled with watery light, and said in a deep voice, “Why did you, go back and return?”
This question was a comprehensive one, with several questions beneath it: Why did you come? Why did you come back? Why did you take the initiative to kiss me? Why did you say thank you after I turned my head away in refusal?
She already understood the reason for the later thank you, but she didn’t understand this one, nor did she comprehend it.
But she didn’t need to state everything explicitly. She believed that Xiao Wenyu could understand all of her heart, and she also believed that if Xiao Wenyu wanted to say it, she would tell her all the answers.
She looked directly at the woman’s clear autumn eyes, which showed a moment of panic, a moment of confusion, and then gradually calmed down, wearing a smile, “It’s been so long since you mentioned it, I thought you had completely forgotten.”
“That was my first kiss.” Ruan Shengyi said calmly, but received an extremely surprised look in return.
Xiao Wenyu subconsciously took half a step back, saying, “I’m sorry, I…”
Ruan Shengyi didn’t let her really move away. She followed up, saying softly, “So, you can give me an explanation.”
She gently held the other person’s hand, “I’m not as good as you think. The fact that my first kiss is still here isn’t because I’m conservative or pure. I’ll tell you about that later. Right now, you answer me first.”
This time, she was really ready to answer, because disappointment floated up. Xiao Wenyu turned her palm over, pressed it against the palm of this person, received the warmth of the push, and then slowly opened her mouth: “That day, I wanted to find a reason to indulge myself once…”
Ruan Shengyi’s heart clenched painfully, and her eyes instantly turned red.
Xiao Wenyu looked away from her gaze, lowered her head, and pursed her lower lip, saying, “At that time, I was thinking that the education I received since I was little was to be gentle, kind, respectful, thrifty, and yielding, to be an upright and kind person, to be a good person, because good people are rewarded.”
“But why didn’t heaven give me a good reward?”
“I met Lin Simu when I entered university. She was a year older than me, but we were the same age. At that time, she was really good at having fun. She accompanied me to shoot outdoor scenes, acted as my model. We argued and broke up, then got back together. I knew she wasn’t settled down, so I never talked about settling down.”
“She was the one who took the initiative to propose settling down, because her mother wanted her to settle down. She also said she wanted me to stay at home and not continue taking photos, so I put the studio on hold and stayed at home. Then, my nightmare began… But that’s not important. It just made me realize that it seemed like living as indulgently as her would make me happy, so I went to Tonight Intoxicated.”
“But I found I couldn’t do it.”
As Xiao Wenyu spoke, she gently wrapped her arms around her lower abdomen, her body curling up as if she wanted to bury herself.
“When ordering, I took her into consideration, although at that time I didn’t know if she had appeared in my stomach, after all, I was in a bad mood during that time, and my period was also very irregular. But I still avoided alcohol. I thought about trying to smoke, but I didn’t dare, so I felt useless and simply sat there in a daze.”
“Then, you appeared…”
Xiao Wenyu still clearly remembered the feeling of that first meeting. The woman was wearing a long black trench coat, carrying a bag over one shoulder, walking in from outside, walking in from the light. Her cold and calm gaze swept over, not even pausing deliberately. But it was also such a person who first noticed her unhappiness, bringing a drink and sitting across from her, teasing her so awkwardly and nervously.
She thought, if alcohol and cigarettes weren’t okay, would sex be okay?
That thing, not beautiful but absurd, was very easy to become addicted to. At least in the moment of complete blankness, she wouldn’t think about the pain of the past anymore.
But this clumsy teaser retracted her feelers at the last moment.
Twice, she retracted her feelers at the last moment.
It was the restraint those two times that finally made Xiao Wenyu wake up and deny her so-called indulgence plan. She seemed to leave the dressing room steadily, but fled in panic after she went out the door. She didn’t sleep well all night, and also saw the opposite window, waking and sleeping, sleeping and waking again.
She felt guilty, really felt guilty.
It was also from that day on that, after she had tried many things, she suddenly found that the best tool was pain, transferring the pain in her heart bit by bit, a little bit of pain could be exchanged for a lot and a lot of peace.
Xiao Wenyu finished speaking, and then fell into complete silence.
She thought for a moment and added, “I’m sorry, I used you.”
When the other hand reached over, she quietly stayed in place, not moving or dodging, quietly watching what this person was going to do.
She would accept anything, this was what she deserved.
But that hand just gently put around her neck, soothing her back, Ruan Shengyi’s voice was so reassuring at this moment, quietly saying, “You’re really silly, there are so many ways to indulge, you only thought of smoking, drinking, and sex, and for sex you even knew to find a beautiful woman.”
Xiao Wenyu: …
Ruan Shengyi looked at her calmly, letting the turbulent waves try to submerge the two of them. She asked at the bottom of the waves, “Then what am I to you now?”
The deafening sound hurt Xiao Wenyu’s ears. In the confusion, she heard her own voice stammer, “You’re, a very important person now.” Only then did she realize that the deafening sound was the vigorous beating of her own heart.
She saw Ruan Shengyi hook the corners of her lips, seeming to smile with satisfaction, and then leaned over, stopping her subconscious retreat.
Click.
The seat belt strapped around her stomach suddenly loosened a bit, and the pressure was distributed to both sides of her thighs by the device recently installed on the chair.
Xiao Wenyu lowered her head in surprise, “This…”
The boss Ruan raised her lips smugly, “Your answer pleases me very much. How is it, a surprise?”
Xiao Wenyu softened her gaze, “Of course it’s a surprise, when did you install it?”
The other person just smiled, saying in a level voice, “But I haven’t forgiven you yet. When your health is better, we’ll go out and play once, and then I’ll forgive you.”
What else could Xiao Wenyu say? She repeatedly agreed.
She watched this person back out of the parking space, asking in confusion, “Where are we going now?”
Ruan Shengyi skillfully turned the steering wheel, saying seriously, “Taking you home.”
“My home.”
…